This strange sense of relaxation and being coy. Not quite confident enough back here yet for interjection, and a strange sense of inadequacy and self-counsciousness. The build up of many things and their waves of hypersensitivity affecting myself and the only people close enough to me to feel it.
I don't understand what's changed. Well, I do. But strange aspects have changed yet the problems have dwelled relentlessly. I still am a mess and I constantly feel jumbled and lost and dejected. Completely separate and far away. I don't know how long it has been since I have felt in the action with everyone. Participating, not just accompanying and watching. Oh what a happy start it is here, again, but here is the foundation. I'm not sure what this will be.
